While All of My Friends Go to Work, I think of My Statistics and Accounting Classes.

Being a student, back in the day of my youth (circa 2009), was absolutely a pain in the ass. Assignment, presentations, homework, quizzes, annoying lecturers, and all of those freshmen's mind through their first term of being a college people, were filled up my mind and started to driving me mad. But now, after I finished my bachelor degree, I ended up, once again, to became a student.

I managed to pass the post-graduate's degree exam with intense study, headaches, frequent nauseous, dandruff, over-eat, and extreme nervous. But when the result was up, all of those annoying things were gone, like a pile of dusts swept away by a wind blows. There were no anxious, nervous, nausea, or even a headache swirling inside my body. As they were lifted up from me by an invisible hand of certainty.

But sometimes, I thought to my self, will I survive this phase? Will I manage to finish this degree, and get a decent job? Will I success or not? Will I hold up my head while walking towards my flocks of friends? Will I I make proud of my self?

In the end, I tried to enjoy this moment, an extended years of my young adult live. I held those insecure and uncertain questions into a box, and put it in deep in my soul, willingly to open it once again when I finish all of this thing.

I tried to make this phase as comfortable as I could. Enjoyed all of those assignments and presentations and pressures that will occur sooner or later, thought about my credits and stuff, about failing a class or survive it; while some of my friends thought about their deadlines and bosses and pushing away the "company droid" thought.

2014: The Resolution

I started 2014, right on its first day with awake at 6 in the morning, and greeted all of my family member a happy new year, sat on the dining room, and ate scrambled egg and toast. It was a standard morning on a new year, just like what I did for hundreds of morning a year ago.

Faintly, I heard the sound of trumpets, shouting each other, breaking the silence of the morning, as i stepped into my own bedroom, and yelled, "seriously?!". It wasn't a good morning.

I sat down on my study area, picked out a big, folio sized, pink book. I open it, and started to write.

It was never been an easy task to make out your whole plan for a following year, despite of all the dangers, probabilities, possibilities and maybe unfortunate events that might occurs. Just like when I was second grader high school-er, i created my first resolution filled with hopes and dreams and absolute plans i wanted to do, but turned out, from about 21 points of plan, i managed to finished 3 of them. The rest? Forgotten and leaved away.

But, when I made my second resolution circa 2009, I said to myself, "Just do everything you want to do; resolution was just a piece of paper, where you put down your dreams and thrown it away". I slipped 2009 without any achievement, at all. Well, I managed to graduate from High School, but I considered it was a meant to be event, not a plan, and it must be done no matter what.

As I got older, my age kept adding a number, I said to myself "You need some recognition from other people. Start create!" Several things I had done, from paints, draws, become a guitarist and lyric writers. I even tried to become a stand-up comedian back on the earliest day on college. Until one point, I gave up on everything, and poured it down into words on my computer screen.

In writing, I found my self; an abstract, unplanned activity with a lot of ups and downs, satire and cliche moments, and expressed the untold feeling and ideas which always stored inside my brain. One or two writings I made on English, back then I wasn't proud enough and un-confident enough about my English. Even I knew, I'm still learn how to write in proper way, but till then, it wasn't a bad idea at all.

I managed to started a novel and a short story, one already at its third chapter, and the other was still stuck on the progress. You know, writer's block.

And so, I decided to make this year resolution with two single word that powerful enough to drove me into somewhere I haven't think of, even as i wrote this post.

"LEARN" and "CREATE".

Whatever it is, wood-crafting, creative writing, photography (yes, maybe once again I'll try to learn it by myself), cooks, back again into drawing and designing. And when I have all of those abilities, I will create something; something that will make me surprise by my self.

Just like Neil Gaiman said:

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art - write or draw or built or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." - Neil Gaiman

I will surprise myself. I will.